Saturday 28th June 2014

Well yesterday was a disaster and I mean disaster!

Today is a new day and back to day 1. Oh well, there is no point in dwelling on events. I  am looking forward to today as I get to spend quality time with my husband and children. Two children anyway. One is always away on the weekend as she hates what drinking does to the family. Funny thing is that I never have a desire to drink on the weekend.

That tells me that I can stop but need to focus on why I pick up that drink during the week. I am going to start walking again. I know I said that yesterday but I really, really need to do positive things during the week. There is plenty to do I just need to motivate myself and I am hoping that come Monday when the monster reappears I will have the forthought to read the positive weekend blogs to give me motivation to stay sober. I really want a different outcome but the insanity of it is that if I do the same behaviour I will get the same results. I am a supposedly intelligent woman but seem to struggle with this logic.

Enough with the negative and bring on the positive. It is Saturday, the sun is shining, we get to go grocery shopping (yippee - not), I get to go and watch my youngest play netball and we normally have a nice dinner - cooked by a sober me and then sit and watch TV.  There is no reason why the last bit can't happen every night because I really enjoy it when it does and the peace and happiness is wonderful.

I will check in later and document how my day went. I wish it was weekends all the time.

It is now 4.45pm and I am sober - Go me :).  After a rocky start this morning with the family I have had a neat day. I have mountains of washing to put away and we have just got back from watching my youngest play netball. I am always very proud to watch her play as I was absolutely hopeless!

I have had disappointing news about what my middle child was up to last night and she was not where she said she was and stayed at her boyfriends place.(I did not even know she had a boyfriend) She tells me that at 15 it is acceptable to stay at a boys house -( he is probably 18 if not older so we are not impressed)! Not in my world it is not and there will be battles this week with her because I have decided to ground her and follow through. I am normally the soft one because I feel guilty and ashamed of my behaviour and therefore try and over-compensate. This will be a problem for another day as although I have given her an ultimatum to be home by 6pm I know she has absolutely no intention of coming home and is using me as an excuse.

Well off to do some chores.

Catch up tomorrow

Mrs S