Sunday 17th August 2014 - End of Another Weekend.

Here I am on Sunday evening at 9.05pm reflecting on my last 6 days of sobriety. I made it to 7 days last week and then got trashed and through it all out of the window,

It has been a pretty typical Sunday with an added bonus of making my mum a birthday lunch that she could share with our family. It was a lovely day and the kids were fantastic and actually stayed downstairs and interacted with everyone and had a laugh,.The normally bugger off to their rooms or on the various computers we have around the place. I even watched Lion King 2 (yes the cartoon kids version) with my 15 year old. Go figure.

The only negative thing that really happened today is that my AA sponsor decided that she could no longer sponsor me because I am not attending heaps of AA meetings. I have chosen to spend my time blogging and interacting on The Living Sober site as I find that it is almost like a constant AA meeting with no restrictions of how much you can share or how long you can spend on the sites. I have found that I am getting a lot of support and encouragement on both sites. Don't get me wrong, I got lots of support from AA as well but I am a bit of "an AA failure". I say that in respect that I am still slipping in my recovery. I get a few days up and them pick up a drink and have to start all over again. I don't want to continue doing that but it appears to just happen as part of my journey. I have had more sober days in the last 6 weeks since I have been blogging and since The Living Sober site has been up than I have had for a very long time. The longest I have been sober this year is 10 days and tomorrow I am back to day 7 so am adamant to continue.

Monday's seem to be a difficult day for me and I am not sure if it is boredom or habit that creates the cycle of drinking. Not that I drank last Monday but I did on Tuesday, I need to bring it back to the "now" during the week and I need to make sure that I plan my days properly so that I don't drift off along the drinking path as that is not a path I want to continue down.

I was reading Granny Gets Sober blog and she was talking about having an addictive personality. I certainly have an addictive personality and I never do things by half - either good or bad. I boarder on obssessive at times and my father in law once offended me by calling me a "control freak". I still have a resentment against him for that!

So my plans for tomorrow are to go for a walk, do some cleaning and some baking a spend time on my bum reading blogs, interacting on Living Sober website and just trying not to listen to the chatter in my head.

This week is going to be a bit of a challenge because my middle child has her "practice exams" for NCEA level 1 for the next two week. I need to not nag her and to accept the fact that she probably won't do that well in them, I am not being mean it is just a fact that she has far too much time wagging this year that she will have gaps in her learning that will make it difficult for her to pass. We have had a letter from the school basically saying that they don't think she is likely to achieve unless we get her extra tutoring because of the absences. She has some credits towards level 1 but only 34 and the school indicated that in order to pass, their research shows that kids should have at least 50 credits by this stage, I don't want to be negative and I have told her that she needs to sit the practice exams to see what the gaps are for her final exams in November. Unfortunatel, she is much like me and I can sense that she has actually given up and is unlikely to even front up for the exams. Not that I did that but for me, if things get too hard I pick up a drink.

I need to focus on me this week because if I can remain sober things will run smoothly.