Sunday, 27th July 2014

Well it is Sunday evening and I am back to day 2 today and I am determined that tomorrow (Monday) will be a sober day and day 3. I know I can do it because every weekend I don't have any desire to drink as I have mentioned in my earlier posts. I have planned my day quite carefully tomorrow and I am hoping that will help me through the day. As the saying goes "If you fail to plan, you plan to fail". I have not been planning my days during the week and just letting things happen and keeping myself in a rut. Not tomorrow.

I was just reading Mrs D's post and "yes" I believe she has started a revolution and a community of people at different stages in sobriety who are now supporting each other. It is inspirational to see the comments and the interactions on her blog and I will definitely be signing up to the website because although, I have been having ups and downs I feel that generally I am in a better place than what I would have been without it. For me, the only reason I started this blog was seeing Mrs D on TV and hearing about how she used blogging to get sober. I then spent time reading through her blog and discovered that there are so many of us out there and we really can help each other and support each other when times get tough. I have been helped and supported in the last month I have writing this blog by so many lovely people.  The thing I find about this sort of community, like AA in a way, is that if you "slip-up" and OMG I am the queen of slip-ups, I do not feel judged. I feel encouraged to get back and try again and focus on the goal of staying sober. On, the other hand I am not using that is an excuse to drink - I can find any number of excuses - Happy, sad, angry, bored, hungry, lonely, tired and stressed and whatever else comes to mind to justify my drinking for the day.

It was an interesting day today and it just proves to me that I can be a normal parent and can get respect -
WHEN I HAVEN'T BEEN DRINKING. We had quite a productive family working day. I even managed to 'put my foot down" and get the kids to do some chores. They moaned and my son abused me but he still mowed the lawns and did a good job. I had my middle girl clean all the mould off the windows in the downstairs part of the house (we have a big house) which took her about an hour and half. and to my surprise she happily did it! I picked her up from a friends house at midday and announced that since she is away all the time and gets money for doing nothing she can do the windows this afternoon. My husband and I took my mum out for a couple of hours and I was expecting that the chores would not be done but she had them done and had done a really good job. My youngest had the job of cleaning all the mirrors in the house and the internal french doors. She did a good job of that too. Mum said to me "see Cherie, look how much more respect you have from the kids on the days that you don't drink, they may moan and groan (my son did) but they will do it. They won't do anything for you when you have been drinking". How very true that it.

I was reading a blog of a lovely lady the other day who's father has passed after a long battle with alcoholism. It appears it affected his brain in the end and it is such a waste of a life. That was a stark reminder to me that if I continue to drink I may end up with a :wet brain"! Both of my grandfathers were alcoholics. One died sober after 20 years of good sobriety and started some AA meetings in the area he lived in. The other unfortunately died in mental hospital of :wet brain". I have an auntie on mum's side and an uncle on dad's side who also died from the affects of alcohol. It is such a waste. The problem with this disease is it will kill you if you let it but I have a choice.

Mrs D said in her post that it is about training your brain that alcohol is not like bread and milk even though it is sold at the supermarket. I thought that was a great comparison and I am now telling myself something very simple that  I saw the other day on a blog - I do not drink. I have been telling myself that and I have set up a reminder on my phone that says I do not drink.

Here's hoping for a good day tomorrow. :)

Cherie xx